playing-with-fire-camp-bil-o-wood-2010

POEM BY: KRISTEN B.  PHOTO BY: AUDREY KELLY

 

 It starts with a joke
And evolves in banter
After a few beers you just say “fuck it”
And take your clothes off

And it’s nice
And it’s fun
And your insecurities melt away and you allow yourself to just be

You pretend like it didn’t mean anything
Even if it did
You spend a few hours crafting the perfect message

While you wait for the response
You play it all out in your head
The witty banter
The next time you see him
Showing him the things you love
Maybe letting your guard down
Because you’re more than just jokes

He is taking too long
You start thinking about all the reasons
It could never work

You tell yourself and everyone else that dating sucks
And relationships are for losers
Being unattached and emotionally unavailable
Is the cool thing to do

Until he texts you back
You tell yourself you’ve  already moved on
Because the risk of rejection isn’t worth it
But the cycle starts over again
Until he truly ghosts
And then you don’t even notice that he’s gone


KRISTEN B. IS A BOULDER-BASED RUGBY PLAYER, FLIP CUP CHAMPION, AND PIZZA AFICIONADO. SHE ENJOYS STANDING ON TOP OF MOUNTAINS AND COOKING.